i don't even know...

my soul is asleep...trying to escape
Escape from what? I guess from my fears...
It is chained with depression, denial and lust...
i hope to find the key that's been hiding in the dust.

This dust is thick and has been a part of my heart,
for 3 long years, it has covered my flesh and blood...
How long will it stay..can someone take it away?
It's been an illness, that's taking my life away...

Tik, tak minutes..hours..and days..
I still want to be saved..
My eyes are blurred, it slowly closed
My soul is asleep, still trying to escape....

sudden death....

it's been a week since I've started having an insomnia...restless souls whisper in my ears...mentioning all of my sins and worries everynight as i try to rest,,,my innerself told me to ignore them but i just can't,,,those demons are trying to put me down,,,i still believe in god...i do...really... I always talk to him...I cry on his shoulders...i always ask him some questions that bothers my soul...he helps me a lot...it's true...He helps me to understand everything...before i met him... I used to think of death...everybody thought i was happy because i always joke around...it is quite teu but, deep inside i cry,,,there's still a part of me thats missing...is it a relationship? If that is...i am so pathetic...i don't want to admit it but it's true...it shows....

(continuation next week)